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If you’re using a butt plug with a partner, let the other person know when things feel good, and when they don’t. If you have hemorrhoids, anal fissures, or a prostate condition, you should talk to your doctor before using a butt plug, since anal sex toys might make these conditions worse. They usually look like a cone – starting narrow and getting wider before narrowing again – but can also be long and ribbed.

Try not to push too hard, though, or you could be more likely to get hemorrhoids. You can also wash porous toys with soap and warm water, but they’re much harder to clean, since they hold onto bacteria. Always follow the manufacturer’s instructions on how best to clean your toy.

Women and people assigned female at birth also enjoy butt plugs. Wearing one during penetrative vaginal sex can simulate double penetration – getting penetrated in the anus and vagina at the same time. The safest materials for butt plugs are silicone, Pyrex glass, and stainless steel.

The larger, more "bulbous" top presses against your partner's clitoris in many sex positions, allowing for maximum stimulation. "Just be cautious about buying the cheapest toy you can find because some of the ultra-cheap sex toys products might be made of questionable materials and have low durability," says Lehmiller. Plus, if you spend a little more, you can get a higher-tech toy that will offer more customization options, thereby allowing you to tailor it to your tastes and give you more variety in how you use it, he says. I miss what our sex life once was because despite my wife not having as strong of a libido, she’s been willing to try things in bed over the years, and when we are in the moment it is wonderful. Some things have been more mutually enjoyable than others and they have stayed in the repertoire while others she didn’t enjoy as much and we’ve abandoned. I appreciate her willingness to try new things and respect that some of the things we’ve tried she didn’t enjoy (my enjoyment of them doesn’t really matter because it’s a lot less fun when only one person is into it).

FirmTech is designed for people with penises who want to stay firm. For more advice, seek online help from one of the more reputable sites, such as goodvibes.com, loverspackage.com or evesgarden.com. The ring has a gently expanding band that fits around the base of the penis